i grew a human

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Last night I was laying in bed, not sleeping (common occurrence), and revisiting my thoughts and feelings from the day.  On the first Sunday of every month, Mormons dedicate an hour of their services to something called Fast & Testimony meeting.  We fast for two to three meals and donate the money we would have spent and call it a “fast offering.”  The donation goes to families who are down on their luck and need a little boost.  During the service, any members who would like to, are given the opportunity to “bear” or express their personal testimonies in relation to the gospel.

As I wrangled my now nearly 14-month old baby-toddler, I was once again hit with the impact of that tiny human.  I thought I knew love before Baby Zog.  I love Sir Zog.  Marrying him was the best day of my life.  And then the day I gave birth to Baby Zog, replaced that.  His birth-day is the new best day of my life – but only made possible through the first best day of my life.  This is not to diminish the first one. Rather, to honor it. After all, the first-best-day, is the source of all my best-days-to-come. Continue reading

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mommy wars: staying home

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Baby Zog in his own little chair/ottoman

What on earth were people thinking when they said (or thinking quietly in their minds) that being a stay-at-home mom is somehow easier?

Growing up, I had always mostly believed that I would stay home with my children.  There were a few phases where I was going to be a doctor/lawyer, and my dutiful husband would stay at home with our two children.

When it came time for Baby Zog to arrive, I honestly wasn’t sure how I felt about going back to work. I was extremely conflicted. On the one hand, I felt that I would lose out on so much by going back to work – and let’s be honest, while work has some significance to life, family is the real long-term life that matters.  On the other hand, I knew work. There were no real unexpected or major surprises that could occur.  And, the world gets people who work. It feels good to say that you are successful. And frankly, it feels good to watch all that you are working towards unfold. Work is more immediately fulfilling. Continue reading

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