Last night I was laying in bed, not sleeping (common occurrence), and revisiting my thoughts and feelings from the day. On the first Sunday of every month, Mormons dedicate an hour of their services to something called Fast & Testimony meeting. We fast for two to three meals and donate the money we would have spent and call it a “fast offering.” The donation goes to families who are down on their luck and need a little boost. During the service, any members who would like to, are given the opportunity to “bear” or express their personal testimonies in relation to the gospel.
As I wrangled my now nearly 14-month old baby-toddler, I was once again hit with the impact of that tiny human. I thought I knew love before Baby Zog. I love Sir Zog. Marrying him was the best day of my life. And then the day I gave birth to Baby Zog, replaced that. His birth-day is the new best day of my life – but only made possible through the first best day of my life. This is not to diminish the first one. Rather, to honor it. After all, the first-best-day, is the source of all my best-days-to-come.
Holy cannoli. The most powerful moment of my life was when Baby Zog entered this world. Beautiful. Amazing. Awe-inspiring. Truthfully, there will never be words to capture this moment. It was indeed the most spiritual moment of my life. I struggle to understand how there could ever be doubt that God exists.
People, I grew a human. Seriously. Stop, and think about it. We take it for granted because it happens every day. But if you take the time and realize that one day, you’re just a normal one-person human being and the next you’re sort of two. And nine months later you’ve grown an entire human. With a personality and a spirit of their own. It’s mind-boggling.
I thought I knew love but it turns out there is no love like a parent’s. It makes me love my mom all the more (she’s kind of my most-special-favorite-person outside of Sir and Baby Zog). And it makes me appreciate Christmas all the more. Not just because Christmas with a baby-toddler is so much more fun (as they grunt and point in wonder at all the lights), but because of the real meaning of Christmas. The birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. New life. Love. And I now feel like I connect with Mary. I get it – if even just a little bit. And I understand the great sacrifice that our Heavenly Father made when he allowed his son, Jesus Christ to suffer on the cross in order to save all of his children.
I know God lives. And I know he loves us. Isn’t it great knowing families are forever?
Merry Christmas. I hope yours is a wonderful holiday filled with wonder, awe, and love.